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Mothers Day?

On Mothers Day I got up early to make my wife breakfast. Then we had a relaxing day at home broken up by a trip to Dairy Queen and then a dinner out.

Fathers Day? I got up early to make my breakfast. I then heated my smoker, rubbed spices into a whole brisket and pulled chicken thighs from the marinade I had put them in the night before. I placed the meats into the vertical propane smoker and adjusted the temperature dial then went inside to watch the NASCAR prerace and then the race itself.

On the surface it may seem unfair but I didn’t think so. Smoking a brisket and a few chicken thighs was what I wanted to do. Unless you’ve done it, it’s hard to understand how relaxing smoking food can be. It is a slow, slow process which produces mouth watering results. It’s the food equivalent of a leisurely walk in the park.

The brisket turned out perfect. So did the chicken thighs. The NASCAR race not so much. Dale Earnhardt,Jr blew an engine while leading in a race where he was the defending winner. But none of those things make a good Fathers Day.

What made my Fathers Day great was all of my sons remembered me and that’s better than a dinner out any day.

I recently read, the National Security Agency is listening to our phone calls. This is the most surprised I have been since Ellen DeGeneres announced her sexual preference is women. Can you imagine a branch of the government whose sole purpose is spying on people – spying on people? Sure it’s amazing when any part of our government is doing what they are assigned to do but still were you really surprised?

First of all, as I understand it, the NSA is not listening to our calls they are just logging who we talk to and when. And if you believe that you may also believe I can get you a great deal on a slightly used bridge leading into Brooklyn, NY.

It’s been my belief for many years that the NSA is listening to my calls. They are obviously trying to steal my top secret barbecue recipe. Why else would they listen? I assure you, my bbq recipe is the most exciting thing they would hear from me. I have a mundane, middle America life. When I am on the phone 75 percent of of what I talk about is food. The other 25 per cent is split between my dogs, my kids and my garden.

Now when I am on the phone with my wife I speak of nothing – I just listen. This may be why I am not as upset as I should be about the NSA listening. At least they are listening!

I have been married 23 years and like any other husband who has married as long can attest to, when we have a phone to our head it’s only a listening device. If the NSA is tapping conversations with my wife and me they probably think it’s a monologue. Because it is!

A couple of 45 minute calls with only one voice and maybe the government will give up and tap a phone of someone more interesting.

and if they do – I want to hear too!