Chewing Gum is more Difficult

President Lydon Johnson once said of, then Minority leader of the House, Gerald Ford, “he can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.” If you think that is bad, I have a friend who can not talk on the phone and eat a McDonald’s Hash Brown at the same time. To make it even worse, we are not talking handset coordination here, we are talking speaker phone.

Compared to my friend, Mr. Ford was a multitask master.

How my friend drives a car and smokes is beyond me. He must work the gas pedal and brakes between puffs. To him, watching television and sitting on a couch must be like one of us doing brain surgery while snow shoveling a sidewalk.

My Cockatoo is better at multitasking!

At least he can eat an almond, hanging upside down, while he talks and he doesn’t even own a speakerphone.

The part I find amusing is, my friend thinks nothing of asking me to look something up on the computer while I talk on a telephone without a speaker. Then, when I find what he is interested in, he has to get off the phone to read the web page because he can’t read  while on the phone. Can you imagine if all people were this solo functional?

MySpace and Ebay would cease to exist. All those telemarketers and cubicle dwellers of the business world would not be able to chat or bid because they are on the phone. “Sorry Sir, I would like to take your order for 1000 widgets but the listing for the lamp I want is about to expire and I have to hangup the phone and bid”.

U.S. productivity would rank somewhere between the darkest reaches of Africa and the jungles of the Amazon basin.

J Pat

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