No One Goes to Fast Food Restaurants

Why are there so many fast food restaurants? No one eats at them. I know this because everything you read on the internet is true and I have read the internet.

Just a few minutes ago I was reading an article on Yahoo Finance about “The Restaurant Stock of the Year.” Not a bad article as articles go. I agreed with some parts of it and disagreed with other parts. By the way, according to Yahoo Finance, Wendy’s is the stock of the year. The decision seemed to based a lot on the author liking the pretzel bread on one of their burgers.

I like Wendy’s. I go, on occasion, to Wendy’s. Mostly when I am too lazy to cook my own chili. Apparently I am the only customer they have, which is quite flattering since they are the restaurant stock of the year.

Why do I think I am the sole customer of a huge chain of restaurants? Because, as I said, I have read the internet. More specifically, I read the comments on the article. It appears I may not be just Wendy’s only customer but I may be the only person in America who eats at fast food restaurants.  If true I have to wonder why I have to wait in line when I visit one of these said restaurants.

I read the comments and no one who commented said they eat fast food. In fact they all seem to look down a long and narrow minded nose at the thought of partaking in such low class cuisine. They actually seemed insulted that any one would suggest they visit such establishments. Which I thought was odd because the last place I would want these pretentious morons would be anywhere near me while I ate. So I wouldn’t suggest they eat anything anywhere that I go to dine.

I like fast food. I like Big Macs. I like ice cream at Dairy Queen. Burger King’s Whopper sounds good once in awhile. Long John’s Silver has chicken planks I like to gobble while drinking A&W root beer at our town’s combo restaurant. Don’t tell my wife but once in awhile my son and I even eat at Arby’s. I could tell you what I like at Taco Bell but who has that kind of time?

I like it all. It has it’s guilty place in my culinary options. I won’t deny it and why should I? Fast food has become as American as apple pie.

So if you are too good to eat at these places step out of line and let me through.

I am ready to order!

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