Next Food Network Star?

The Food Network for the last few years have aired a show to find the “Next Food Network Star.” This has got to be the worst fraud of any show since the 64,000 Dollar Question.

These idiots couldn’t find their ass if they were sitting on both their hands. The second year they “found’ Guy Fieri. Guy was already an accomplished man in food service so what a coup that must have been. Besides them stumbling upon Fieri, all they have found have been lifeless, talentless, glorified home cooks who call themselves chefs. The latest of the personality deprived “Stars” is Jeff Mauro.

Mauro calls himself the “Sandwich King”. I call him an over sized child. Who besides a ten year old would refer to themselves as king of anything on national TV? Besides being the self proclaimed king of bread and meat, Mauro likes to think as himself as a comic. Trust me, him and the morons who judge Next Food Network Star, are the only ones who have that opinion. I have seen cinder blocks who are funnier. This guy couldn’t get me to laugh if he had Robin Williams riding on his shoulders.

This morning Jeff Mauro’s show aired and I tuned in and back out. The show was exactly as promoted – making any meal into a sandwich and any sandwich into a meal. Do you have any idea how this was accomplished?

I know!

What a mystery?

Listen close and I’ll tell you – put something between two slices of bread. No really, I am not kidding! To make a sandwich you have to have something between slices of bread.

Revolutionary idea!

It was such an enlightened idea I had to see it for myself. So I tried to watch.

In the ten minutes before I switched channels not only did Mauro make sandwiches but from what I saw it would take two days and about fifty dollars to make the sandwich. I don’t know about you but in this fast paced, slow economy, two days is ridiculous and more than two bucks for a home sandwich is absurd.

I can tell you right now I will never watch a single minute of this idiotic show again but it isn’t Jeff Mauro’s fault. He was duped like the rest of us. He actually thought Bobby Flay and his cohorts could find a star on a show called The Next Food Network Star.

We were all wrong. Not that the show didn’t have people with star potential, it’s just that for one reason or another, Flay and gang thought Mauro was better.

They thought a professional chef, Vic from Vegas, had nothing to show us. They believed cute little Whitney’s smile couldn’t light up a television. They even dismissed the other finalist, Susie, who had some great ideas for authentic Mexican. I would watch any of the three before I would watch Jeff Mauro make a sandwich. But again what do I know? Apparently there is a vast part of America wanting to learn the nuances of putting meat between bread.

I guess I am not as smart as the judges. After all look who they have picked as their “Stars.”

Season One – Dan Smith & Steve McDonagh
Season Two – Guy Fieri
Season Three – Amy Finley
Season Four – Aaron McCargo, Jr.
Season Five – Melissa d’Arabian
Season Six -  Aarti Sequeira

And of course season seven – Jeff Mauro

With a network full of stars like those why look for more?

Of course the better question is; Except for Guy – why hasn’t the Network been arrested for fraud for calling the show “The Next Food Network Star?”

I don’t know about you but this past season will be the last season, I watch their egotistical hunt for stars.

Fool me once shame on you.

Fool me twice shame on me.

Fool me six times and I’ll watch reruns of The Weather Channel before I watch their show again.

J Pat

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