A Lazy Island in a Sea of Web Insanity

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

I wasn't going to watch the third installment of Transformers but when the kids showed up with a DVD and played it on my 73 inch TV, I thought, "what the hell, it's convenient enough, might as well."

It reminded me a lot of the second one with the idiot bureaucrat pushing Earth into a war we seemingly can't win. There is also Josh Duhamel as the hard nosed soldier, conflicted between orders and what he knows is right. Also we again have John Turturro as the slightly off alien expert.

Off course the movie is centered around Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky and his hotter than hot girlfriend, Mikaela Banes played by Megan Fox. Wait a second! That is not Megan Fox! Sam has a new girlfriend in this one. A slinky model type named Carly and played by Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. Don't get me wrong. Rosie is a decadent treat in the world of eye candy but she is no Megan Fox.

Megan Fox has the sex symbol trait that can't be explained. It's like a politician with charisma. It's hard to define but you know it when you see it. Fox is a smoldering pot of sultry. Plus she can tame a small Decepticon without breaking a sweat. Well maybe a small glistening sweat but you get the idea.

So I am sitting in my living room, watching a movie without Megan Fox, that looks very much like the last Transformers movie which had Megan Fox. This was not a good start. It didn't get any better when Patrick Dempsey appeared. Who was the moron who cast Dempsey as a villain? It just didn't fit. The goofy, geeky teenage heart throb, who turned into a prime time drama heart throb, just doesn't play evil well. This movie was beginning to look like a list of reasons Michael Bay shouldn't be allowed to have casting input in the movies he directs.

But there I still sat remembering I didn't move a muscle or spend a dime to watch this movie. The first hour was worth exactly what I had spent. It was boring and predictable at every turn. So far this was a movie I wouldn't recommend to anyone but insomnia patients.

Then it got a little better. It could of been, the appearance of Jimmie Johnson's 48 and Dale Earnhardt Jr's 88 as Autobots, that got my attention but it was starting to pick up steam.

I am not going to spoil the end but I will say it was worth the wait for the action and the DVD. This was a movie not worth the price of a theater ticket but worth the price on NetFlix or whatever provider you use. It was also worth nineties minutes of cheap viewing to see the end.

The action in the last thirty minutes saved this movie but it didn't need to if Bay wasn't such an idiot. Michael Bay had a winning formula and he screwed it up. All he had to do was put Megan Fox on the screen for an hour than have a huge battle between Autobots and Decepticons, just like in the first two Transformer movies. The formula gives us ninety minutes of viewing pleasure and gives us Dads a great motivation to take the kids to the theater. Instead he gave us a movie of DVD value because he couldn't stand to work with Megan Fox.

Everyone reading this please raise your hand if you can think of a reason you would fire Megan Fox from your workplace.

What no hands?

Again Rosie Huntington-Whitely isn't bad but like the Transformers: Dark of the Moon, she just isn't as good as the original.

My recommendation; Rent the DVD if you have a night free but don't go out of your way to watch Dark of the Moon.

It will be on HBO soon enough.

Megan Fox

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